The lab results are in. I'm shocked. If I didn't no any better I'd tell you someone spiked the water cooler with liquids from the fountain of youth. Before the transformation my body was what real estate agents call a real fixer upper. You know what I'm taking about – a sick piece of crap that looks okay on the outside but is loaded with termites and other hidden ailments on the inside. It appears I may have been suffering from a food intolerance that caused my blood pressure to sky rocket, my good cholesterol to plummet and my bad cholesterol to rent space in my inflamed arteries. Left unchecked, I would have ended up with a heart attack or stroke. The only thing in my favor is my wife's love for a fixer upper. And, thanks to the good doctor who pointed me in the right direction I didn't happen to see because they're hidden by our modern "healthy" culture, this dilapidated old body is getting a mulligan and now structurally sound. Here are the numbers:
2/2015 Health Assessment
Weight 178 (weight ballooned to 185 during my novel writing experience)
Blood Pressure 160/100 (stage II hypertension)
Total Cholesterol 172
Good Cholesterol 27 (high risk)
TC/HDL ratio 6.4 (high risk)
9/2015 Health Assessment
Weight 170
Blood Pressure 102/71
Total Cholesterol 139
Good Cholesterol 49
TC/HDL ratio 2.84 (Desirable ratio less than 4.5)
It's important to note these numbers didn't change until the beginning of this month when I became a guinea pig for a food experiment. I started the month of September 16 pounds heavier than I am today. I'm sleeping better, my plumbing is working better and the numbers above confirm how I feel on the inside. There are still more renovations to go and the food experiment will be extended for the rest of my life. I seem to enjoy being a pig. And if you want to learn more about what I'm doing, all I can say is "you're nuts." Translation: you are what you eat. Almonds anyone? Have a great day.
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