Thursday, May 15, 2014

Are You Ready to Stop Being the Victim?

The blame game is popular in our culture.  We love to make excuses for everything.  We blame the boss for not being able to see how great we are when someone else gets the promotion.   We blame the economy for the lack of jobs.  It's fun to play the victim.  We want the world to feel our pain.  The only problem with victim status is that we never break out of the cycle.  There's only one way out.  It's called responsibility.  We need to own our mistakes.  We need to stop blaming everyone else for our problems.  Here are some examples of how this works:
  1. Poor physical fitness.  The victim says, "My boss overworks me.  I'm so tired at the end of my long day that I can't work out."  The person who owns this problem says, "It's my fault.  I need to re-arrange my priorities so I make the time to exercise."
  2. Unemployment.  The victim says, "All the good jobs are being shipped oversees."  The accountable person says, "I need to sharpen my skills so I can compete for a better job."
  3. Bad credit.  The victim says, "the banks won't loan me money because they don't understand why I missed a few payments."  The non-victim says, "I made some mistakes managing my money.  I'm going to be pro-active from now on and stop living paycheck to paycheck.  I'm committed to paying my bills on time even if that means taking on a second job or changing my spending habits."
  4. Broken relationships.  The victim says, "It's all his/her fault.  They never do their share."  The responsible one says, "I need to pay more attention to my loved ones.  I need to work on my listening skills.  My family needs more from me and I resolve to be there for them."
  5. Broken promises.  The victim says, "I didn't show because my car broke down.  I wasn't there because something came up at the last minute.  I was late because there was a bad accident and traffic was a mess."  The trustworthy one says, "I always leave early so if something comes up, I can still arrive on time.  The only thing I have to offer is my word and I'm going to do everything I can to always keep my promises."
I remember a friend telling me, "excuses are like ass-holes – everyone has one and they all stink."  Victims make excuses.  Survivors make commitments.  They own their problems.  They refuse to blame anyone or anything for their challenges.  They believe they can win in all circumstances because they know the world doesn't owe them anything and there's no reason to blame anyone but themselves.  How about you?  Please share your comments below.

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