The blood test results are in. My doctor readily agreed to ask for one, especially when I told him of my odd food proclivities. I'm certain of one thing, there are few in this world who eat the way I eat. My food choices are as about as un-American as it gets. My doctor is bound by the rules of hipaa to disclose details of my full physical to others but I'm pretty much an open book to anyone who cares to turn the pages and delve into unknown territory that sometimes scares the Hell out of loved ones.
My exam lasted longer than a typical visit, perhaps because of the lapse between appointments. I opened up my notebook and fired away some questions in order to appease my wife. Dr. Benjamin Miller put my mind at ease when he told me the spot on my back, a seborrheic keratosis, is of no concern and happens to appear when we approach our sixties. Number two on my wife-inspired checklist was the suspicious spot near my thyroid that showed up five years ago when I went through a body scan after my auto accident. "The best way to check your thyroid is a TSH test; we can make that part of your blood test," Dr. Miller said.
Next on the list was sharing my stack, mostly natural molecules the human body produces on its own but curtails during the aging process. My physician told me there is nothing in the stack that can hurt me although if my body isn't deficient in these substances I will merely be flushing them down the toilet. He was curious why I was taking pills including TMG, Quercetin, Fisetin, Tumeric, NMN, Pure Resveratrol, and Sirt 6 activators so I revealed my pointers from the book, "Lifespan," by Harvard scientist, David A. Sinclair.
The next topic of conversation was about my food intake. My most recent food modification happened when I discovered Dr. Jason Fung, author of the "Diabetes Code." My eye doctor suggested I read the book during my last eye exam last December. Since diabetes runs in my family, I decided to investigate. The forward is written by science journalist, Nina Teicholz, author of "The Big Fat Surprise." I told my doctor that Nina's stunning research reveals something rather horrifying about the people at the top of the food chain who make all the rules our doctors are bound by when it comes to standard of care. Nina says, "the demonization of cholesterol has been probably one of the greatest mistakes in medical history."
If you've made it this far in today's rather long-winded story, I applaud you. In my opinion, Nina's assessment of cholesterol was not a mistake but a direct attack on humanity through dark forces we cannot see who want to destroy us. My opinion may only be one small voice from a once blind caveman who has wandered around the desert most of my life but I'm willing to share my journey here regardless of any future attacks from the demons. My test results do show elevated cholesterol. I warned my doctor that this is what he would see once the blood test results came back. I also told him the more important number is triglycerides which came back lower than ever at 57. All other lipid panel numbers came back in the normal range despite my uncanny food ways. God willing, it looks like I'm going to be around a while, hopefully long enough to get to nationals in the men's 90+ doubles with my cousin, Dr. John Mulligan, the one responsible for intervening at a critical moment when I was about to succumb to a lifetime of permission slips so I could continue the standard American diet. Those dark days are behind me. I'm looking forward to helping my teammates out at sectionals in August and the doctor cleared me to participate in Ragbrai next month. Have a great day.