Thursday, April 10, 2014

How to Deal With Challenging People

We all have at least one person in our lives who gets under our skin.  If it's someone we see on a regular basis, like a family member or co-worker, maybe these ideas can help:
  1. Have a one-on-one meeting.  Make sure no one else is around when you sit down with your adversary.  Tell them how their behavior is affecting you negatively.  Ask them if you are doing something to annoy them.  If you can uncover their "issues" with you and explain how you want to improve the relationship, you may have success.
  2. Ask forgiveness for anything you may have done to cause the relationship to deteriorate.  You may have done something long ago to inflict pain and you don't even know the other person is hurting.
  3. Seek common ground.  Find the good in the other person.  Stay away from areas of disagreement.  Avoid any triggers that cause the other person to boil over.
  4. Agree to disagree.  Odds are you aren't going to change the other person and they aren't going to change you.  So don't waste time fighting.
  5. Walk away if you can't resolve your situation and it gets too hot.  Fighting doesn't fix your problems.  If this person happens to be your boss and you are miserable, then quit and move on with your life.  
I have found that most of the challenging people in my life are difficult because of something I do to annoy them.  If you want to see your adversaries change their behavior, you need to look at yourself and change your ways first in order to see improvement in your relationships.  If you have any ideas to contribute about how to deal with challenging people, please share in the comments section below.

No comments: