Oh, doctor! Those who say your second delivery is easier than your first don't know much about the publishing process. What if the stork shows up and there's no head on my baby? My book could end up stuck in the birth canal while I try to figure out how to properly attach the missing front cover.
I remember when I held my wife's hand her first time in the delivery room. "Haw, hee, haw, hee" I reminded her. Thirty-six hours later our son was born. The second time in labor she told the nurse, "drugs, please."
"Too late," she responded. "Your too far along."
I'm looking at the clock. It reads, 8:08. Hmm. It's exactly twenty-four hours to go until the c-section tomorrow morning on St. Patrick's Day. My anesthesiologist peeks inside at the manuscript while offering comforting words. "Don't worry, I've got your back," he says. "Just breathe." I'm wondering if I'm going to endure the pain. Thank God no cameras are allowed in the delivery room. I really don't care if it's a boy or a girl. I'm just praying my baby is born with a head. See you tomorrow at 8:08. Have a great day.
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