Sunday, August 22, 2021

I Passed the Ultimate Trigger Test Yesterday

I didn't realize just how many triggers I encounter on a daily basis until I started my meditation journey.  The more I meditate the better I get at becoming familiar with how triggers can upset my emotional wellbeing.  Think of a trigger as hot water getting ready to boil.  If you can maintain your cool, you never see that water boil.  As soon as the trigger is pulled and the water boils, you have lost your ability to be in a calm state of mind.

I encountered a series of rapid-fire triggers yesterday.  The attacks were relentless.  I won't go into the details but these triggers were so bad that I suddenly noticed a knot forming in my stomach.  This never happens.  I could feel the toil of my body getting ready to boil while I added cool drops of water but my supply didn't seem to be enough to keep me from exploding.  I managed to get through my shift and headed home for relaxation when the traffic came to a halt.  A couple of semis collided not far from home and all the traffic was completely stopped.  This was the last trigger of my day and it was a doozy.  People around me were hitting their boiling point.  One driver sped by on the side of the interstate not caring about the danger he was putting us in.  I was at 211º and holding steady.  The traffic finally moved enough for me to reach an early exit and head home on the back roads.  Yes, this day was the ultimate trigger test and I'm happy to report I passed, even if it was just barely.  Each day presents it's own trigger test.  I'm slowly building on my track record in anticipation of even bigger tests ahead.  Have a great day.

No comments: