Why I'm Thankful For The Ambulance Chasers

Ambulance chaser:  A type of lawyer who ranks lower than a pile of excrement in terms of what he/she contributes to society.

An ambulance chaser came into my life a couple of days ago.  He thought he knew me.  I didn't make the same mistake about him.  Instead, I sacrificed my writing time to research everything about him and his business practices.  Those who know me understand how much fun I have when giants with multi-billion dollar checkbooks come after me.  Each one of these giants inspired me to sharpen my sling-shot skills.  And when I show up in court at the appointed time with my stones and my sling-shot I will be the one who confidently says "pro se," meaning a "self-represented party."  Most people in my situation would rather stay home than show up in court.  That allows the ambulance chasers to win a default judgement.  Here's my plan:

1. Answer the complaint, one point at at time, admitting what is true and denying what is false.
2. Show up in court at the appointed time and face my accuser.  
3. Take really good notes about the saga for a future book.
4. Ask for a trial with a jury of my peers.
5. Publish the results.

I'm thankful for the ambulance chasers in my life for one reason.  They give me great material to write about.  Millions of people are going through the same real-life struggle I'm dealing with — how to defeat the debt monster.  And the ambulance chasers arrive at the scene of the accident looking for someone to sue so they can line their own pockets.  Maybe next time they will skip over the guy wielding a sling-shot, even though he's on a stretcher and his heart is barely beating.  Stay tuned for the rest of the story.