Saturday, January 14, 2017

How to Spot a Modern Day Caveman

Although the population of modern day cavemen may appear minuscule to the casual observer, there's evidence of a throwback to the days when hunting and gathering was in style.  People at my day job are asking, "what's going on?"  Paige gasped when I told her chapter one is all hers.  Chris is sending me weekly spreadsheets and they're quite revealing.  Week #2 shows 13.8 pounds released in the new year.  The story is unfolding, one chapter at a time, one changed life at a time.  How do you spot these individuals?  Here goes:
  1. Don't look in the fast food establishments.  They don't hang out there.
  2. They're not standing in line to buy buttered popcorn at the movie theater.
  3. You won't find them in hospital waiting rooms – they rarely get sick.
  4. Try checking out the produce section at the grocery store and look for the shopping carts filled with fruits, veggies, nuts, beans and seeds.  They sometimes eat red meat, chicken and fish but in small amounts.
  5. The best way to spot the modern day caveman is to look at his or her waistline.  It's a give-away.  These people don't carry around excess weight like I did before giving the caveman experiment a try and losing 34 pounds of body fat, mostly in my belly.
Thanks, cousin, for helping me spot a caveman in my neighborhood.  I found him in the unlikeliest of places – my bathroom mirror.  It sure beats finding him in a coffin which is where I was headed before the family intervention.  Hello, my name is Michael and I'm a caveman.  Have a great day.

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