Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Are You an Adder or a Subtractor?

When others meet you, do they walk away happy or miserable?  Are they encouraged or do they want to give up?  Think about the people you interact with on a regular basis.  If you aren't sure how you add or subtract to their feelings, think about how you feel when you are around others.

There are people in my life who I actively seek out when I need a shot in the arm.  The reverse is also true.  If I'm having an "off" day, I avoid the negative types who will only make me sink deeper into the quick sand.

My recent relocation to Iowa illustrates the adders and subtractors in my life.  Without naming names, here's a list of comments about my relocation, broken down into the two categories:

Comments from the Adders:

  • "I bet your wife is going to love being around her siblings."
  • "What an adventure your family is going on."
  • "How wonderful it will be for you to meet new people."
  • "I wish I could follow your example and move closer to family."
  • "I heard good things about the people in the Midwest."
  • "I'm going to email you some names of friends in the area, they will help you get settled."
  • "You and your family must be excited about the next chapter of your lives."
  • "I have an old coat I don't need.  It will keep you warm, please take it." 
  • "When you visit the "Field of Dreams," can you please send me a picture?"
  • "I can't wait to see all God has planned for you in Iowa."
Here's what the Subtractors had to say:
  • "Good luck finding a job in this market."
  • "Your chihuahua is going to freeze to death."
  • "Have you lost your mind?"
  • "I will never visit you in Iowa, the weather is too crappy and there's nothing to do there."
  • "You must have lost a lot of money selling your home in this market."
  • "How are you going to survive out there?  You don't know anybody."
Get the picture?  For me, having positive people around me keeps me moving forward.  I do my best to stay away from those who criticize me.  In times of change, the subtractors can do a great deal of damage while the adders can get me through periods of transition.  How do you deal with the adders and subtractors in your life?  What steps are you going to take today to add value to the people in your life?  If you don't mind sharing this message, you will help me with my multiplying efforts.  And I would love it if you could add your thoughts in the comment section below.


Jeanne bowling said...

Thanks mike...never thought ofblurbs from others quite like that...opens the eyes up.

Jeanne bowling said...

Thanks mike...never thought ofblurbs from others quite like that...opens the eyes up.

Michael Mulligan said...

Thanks for your comment, Jeanne. Glad you like the story. Hope all is well.