For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline ~ 2 Timothy 1:7
There has never been a time in my life where I find myself so far out of my comfort zone as today. Living in the cave was easy. All those years in hiding kept me from getting bruised. It was safe. God did not create us to be "safe." He created us to seek Him, even if that means we must travel through the raging sea. The dark spirits convinced me that my life was a mistake, that my story was not worth sharing. Who would want to read about some crazy man that failed so many times? I lived in guilt, separated from the world. Fear builds its own walls and fences, adding some barbed wire on top, disconnecting us from the possibilities that exist for those brave enough to leave the cave or the island that traps them.
Last night I faced my deepest fear head on. Public speaking comes naturally for me. The larger the crowd, the more my adrenaline pumps. It is similar to another Mike Mulligan from the book "Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel." Click on the video clip to see how Mike Mulligan gets inspired by the large crowds who come to witness his marvelous accomplishment.
Perhaps you feel butterflies inside your stomach when you think about public speaking. Multiply that one hundred times and you will be able to relate to my fear of singing in public. Last night I faced this fear head on. It took place amongst my inner circle of friends from my tennis team. I dedicated a song to my mixed doubles partner as part of our monthly P.O.E.T.S Society gatherings. The song was meant to be sung off-key. That didn't change my fear. I asked her permission to share the song with the group and made one special plea, NO VIDEO CAMERAS. "Deal," she said. My heart raced as I looked out into the crowd to see her pull out a camcorder. The butterflies in my stomach were fluttering big time. I could feel each one. The time had come to face my fear or crawl back into my cave.
I clung nervously to my tennis racquet which was to be my air guitar. The first words to the song came out off-key. My voice cracked as my tennis buddy closed in with her video camera. My heart was pounding. The crowd laughed at the crazy lyrics and I hammed it up more and more with each verse. When the performance ended, I felt this sense of relief. Finally, I had faced my biggest fear ever.
At last, I am ready for the next chapter in my life. God has placed angels around me to face my fears and overcome all obstacles. This is for you, my friend. God is asking me to be His light. He wants you to hear the Good News. The dark spirits have lost their grip on me, forever. No longer will I live in fear.
May you live your life free from fear. May you hear his voice and follow Him. A new life awaits you. Peace be with you.
"Fear builds its own walls and fences, adding some barbed wire on top, disconnecting us from the possibilities that exist for those brave enough to leave the cave or the island that traps them." ~ Michael Mulligan