Monday, November 15, 2010


Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.  ~ Proverbs 25:28

A new manager arrived to lead our sales team at Goliath.  She was young and a bit of a rebel.  Our team had been together many years and led the country in sales.  We felt invincible. Any time a competitor came into our market, we found a way to crush them.  It was a game for us.  Our opponents never had a chance.  It didn't matter how much money, experience or desire they had, the outcome was always the same, total annihilation.

Our new boss looked for creative ways to inspire us to even higher levels of performance.  She offered a trip to Vegas for reaching goals that we felt were too lofty.  We teamed up and found a way to win the prize.  Soon, we were off to Vegas to celebrate our victory.

Our new manager decided at the last minute to stay home.  Her bosses did not like the idea of a female manager in Vegas with a group of male subordinates traveling without spouses.  We visited a bar where one of my team-mates had a friend.  The group decided to play a little trick on me and got the friend involved.  She arranged to have some of the girls come over and take me out of my comfort zone while my team-mates observed.

"I have boundaries," I said to the young girls who were flirting with me.

This made them angry.  The game was backfiring.  One of the young ladies gave up and asked one of my buddies, "do you have boundaries?"  The game was over.

When we returned home, this new phrase about boundaries became a mantra.  A couple of team-mates apologized for making me so uncomfortable.  Boundaries are not something that I observe some of the time, they need to be in place all the time.  It all starts with controlling your thoughts.  This can be done with prayer. 

Some may argue that my life is boring because of the boundaries that I have placed on my life.  When I travel for business, I do not even turn on the TV in my hotel room.  Instead, I write love letters to my wife and read the Bible.  My wife has full access to my email and Facebook accounts should she ever wish to check up on me.  When something creeps into my life that doesn't belong, I bring it to her so she can help me deal with it. 

Boundaries are important, not only in marriage, but in every part of my life.  If you are seeking deeper relationships with your friends, work associates, or family members, show them what you are made of.  Learn to keep things confidential and avoid spreading rumors.  Solid boundaries lead to solid relationships.  In order to stay in the "circle of trust," learn to live within your boundaries, no matter how boring this may appear to the outside world.  You will be Blessed with friends that can trust you.  As Clarence (the angel in "It's a Wonderful Life") said, "no man is a failure who has friends."  Become the "go to" friend by living within your boundaries.

If you are looking for ways to improve your relationships with others, here is a link I found that may be helpful.  Check it out...

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