How We Became Stormtroopers

It's fairly easy to become a stormtrooper if you live in the proper zip code.  All you need to do is spend the winter months in a place like Iowa.  One of the common sayings here is, "If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes and it will change."  I beg to differ.  Every day the weather reports are the same.  We have blizzards, ground blizzards, polar vortexes, bomb cyclones, and even bombogenesis.  If you want to survive conditions like these you need to arm yourself the same way the fictional stormtroopers in Star Wars arm themselves in order to fight the enemy.  

Before I share how I became a stormtrooper in Iowa I would like to share why I moved to Iowa and live here year round.  The reason is love.  If my wife told me tomorrow she would like to live in Hawaii, I would follow her.  If she told me she wanted to move anywhere in the world, I would follow her.  And eleven years ago when she told me she wanted to be closer to her family in the state where she grew up I promised her I would follow her.  That's when I became a stormtrooper.  We arrived in Winter.  My stormtrooper lifespan has outlasted every prediction that my Southern California friends made.  Perhaps they believed I lacked the credentials to survive a Midwest winter.  All I can say is love is powerful.  Now it's time to talk about how to become a stormtrooper should you ever find yourself uprooted from a 90210 zip code.

The smartest stormtroopers I know inflate their tires with nitrogen.  This is how you keep your tire pressure constant, even on -45º windchill days like we had last week.  All-weather tires are also necessary.  Don't wait too long to change your car battery.  Everyone in my family has a fully charged battery pack that can be used to jump start our vehicles.  Don't leave home without this.  A change of clothes is recommended in case you get stuck somewhere and can't get home.  

I would like to thank my friends and family for all the prayers during our recent snow storms.  We are thankful to be off today while another snow storm passes through.  What does a stormtrooper do on days like today?  For us, it's Scrabble and Yahtzee.  Be safe, my friends.  Have a great day.