Saturday, February 23, 2013
My Secret Life As A Writer
All my writing is done in a secret cave somewhere in Gotham City, far away from most people who know me as a writer. Some may think God banished me. Even the people I meet in my new home state appear bewildered when I tell them I spent twenty-three years living in Southern California. "What are you doing here?" they ask with that puzzled look on their face. There are only a few people on this planet who know the full story.
The folks I work for at my day job encourage social media anonymity. Even my wife, aka the Catwoman, prefers to stay off the grid. There are no pictures of her on her FB page for a reason -- she is afraid the Joker and the Penguin may track her down in our secret hideout. I do my best to keep my true identity protected by living and working in day-tight compartments. During the day I'm Bruce Wayne, your average citizen. When it's dark outside, I retreat to my cave and spend hours blogging or penning my books while my family sleeps. Even the local police were suspicious of me when I first arrived on the scene and parked my car outside the local library in the wee hours of the morning every day so I could access the free Wi-fi internet. I ordered the internet for our home once I saved enough pennies from my day job. Santa Claus showed up just in time to prevent a military coup by my teenage offspring.
It's almost impossible to keep a secret in a small town. Even Batman would have trouble solving my conundrum: how does a writer who wishes to remain hidden sell books? You would think I could get a little assistance from my sidekick, Robin. The only problem is I don't understand him when he says things like, "Holy priceless collection of Etruscan snoods!"
Stay tuned at the same bat-time on the same bat-channel, every morning at 8:08 AM, Pacific Time, to see how my secret life as a writer unfolds, one chapter at a time. According to the bat-clock, there are only 21 days to go until chapter one from my next book is released. Shush! Don't tell anyone, especially my relatives. My day job is going really well and I don't want my cover blown. Okay?