Do You Own a Puke Shield?

You can't see my puke shield.  It's invisible.  I put it on to protect myself from the other person's spew of harsh words.  It works every time.  And since the person on the other side can't see it, they have no clue why I'm able to remain calm during their rants.  In fact, the most difficult thing for me is to keep from laughing because the other person appears more like a stand-up comedian than an adversary.  I can't even hear their negative words.  It's like watching TV without the sound turned on.  Their arms are flailing.  Their muscles on their faces are tightening up.  And vomit is sticking to my puke shield.

Warning!  Do not remove your puke shield until the rants are over.  Make sure the other side gets everything out of their system.  Here are some questions to ask to make sure they're done:

1. Ask them, "Is there anything else on your mind you would like to discuss?"
2. Try this, "If I were in your shoes I would be angry too.  Is there anything I can do to help you?"
3. Say this,  "I'm really glad you came to me so I can listen.  Is there anything else bothering you?"
4. Ask this, "What kind of solution do you have in mind?"

Whatever you do during the rants, do not laugh.  Remain calm.  Nod your head affirmatively.  Look straight into their eyes.  When it's all over, you may even get a compliment for your superior listening skills.  Just keep the invisible puke shield to yourself and use it as often as necessary.