How Do You Get Better?

No matter who you are or what you do, you have the ability to improve.  Most people want to be a better spouse, parent, employer, employee, etc.  The challenge is in the "how."  They want to know how to improve but they don't know where to start.  This is one of my favorite topics.  The answer is in your mindset.  Ask yourself this question:  Am I capable of being better today than I was yesterday?  If the answer is "yes," you have already won half the battle.  If the answer is "no," we have work to do.  Here is the strategy I use to improve:

1. Every morning when you wake up, put a mental list together of my top priorities for the day.
2. Ask yourself, what do I need to do to get better results today than I got yesterday?
3. Throw out everything that didn't work yesterday and look for new approaches to become better today.
4. Put a high value on small improvements.  For example, the biggest challenge in my life right now is my mountain of debt.  This problem didn't suddenly appear in my life, it's the result of a life-time of bad habits.  When I go to bed tonight, I will think about all the choices I made today about reducing my debt.  The goal is to do one thing better today about reducing my debt.  That one thing will add up to 365 things at the end of each year.  If I keep improving, eventually I will be debt free.
5. Never give up.  Big problems are really a bunch of small challenges connected to each other.  Concentrate on one small challenge today.  Don't get overwhelmed by the big picture.  Your problem is like a 5,000 piece jigsaw puzzle.  Find a way to connect two pieces of your puzzle today.  You don't need to complete the whole puzzle.  If you stay with it, eventually your puzzle will be complete, your problem will be solved and you will gain the self confidence necessary to get better at anything.

Now it's your turn to share one area of your life you want to improve.  Please leave your comments below.

How Accountability Partners Help You Cross the Finish Line

Your goals are in place.  You feel great about your strategy.  Then, reality sets in.  The obstacles look intimidating.  Self-doubt creeps in.  What do you do to stay motivated?  Maybe it's time to bring in an accountability partner.  Depending on the size of your goal(s), you may want more than one.  You can apply these ideas to any area of your life.  Here are some suggestions:

1. Surround yourself with people who care about you and your goals.  Make sure you share why your goals are important to you.  Their job is to remind you why you are in the race on days when you feel like giving up.  
2. Help your accountability partner(s) with their goals.  Your reward is doubled when you cross finish line together.
3. Be specific about your goals so your accountability partners know what to expect from you.  My first writers group was led by two senior members who clearly defined how each member was accountable.  Everyone was expected to write a minimum of ten pages, distribute enough copies for each group member to critique and then return twice each month with individual critiques.  Every member who joined was expected to complete his or her manuscript.  The success rate was very close to 100%.  
4. Your deadlines are your mile markers.  You can set any pace you want.  Make sure you share your desired pace with your accountability partners so they can check in to see how you're doing.  My accountability partners read my blog every day.  If they check in at 8:08 AM, Pacific Time, and the blog is MIA, they hunt me down.  I get text messages similar to this:  I didn't see your blog this morning, is everything okay?  They don't want to hear excuses.  They keep me on the race course, one day at a time.
5. Accountability partners offer a fresh point of view.  If you are working on weight loss, they can share how they overcame specific challenges.  If you are preparing for an event, like a marathon, triathlon, or something really crazy, like a swim from Alcatraz to San Francisco, these accountability partners can help you design a training program they can supervise.

The most important thing to remember about accountability is that it's a two-way street.  It sure is great to have them in your life to help you cross the finish line.  Remember to give back and help others stay on course.  The more you give, the more you will receive.  And don't forget to say thank you.  If you are one of my accountability partners from the business world, the blog world or my personal life, I want you know how grateful I am for your willingness to help out.  Thank you!

Please share how you use accountability partners in your life.  How do you choose them and what areas of your life are you using them for?  I look forward to hearing from you.

Happy Four Year Blogiversary

Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain. ~ 1 Corinthians 15:58

I'm celebrating my four year blogiversary today.  My first blog story, Coming Out of the Cave, was the beginning of four years of daily writing.  Can you imagine doing something for 1,461 consecutive days?  On that first day, I made two promises -- to write every day for the rest of my life, and to do something daily to improve my writing skills.  Here are some lessons I learned along the way...

• Start with a picture.  Pictures draw readers into your stories. 
• Add your favorite quotes or Bible verses.  My Facebook friends are always posting positive and encouraging quotes that inspire some of my stories.
• Share from your heart.  You have a story inside you that can help others.  Readers want authenticity. 
• There's never been a better time to connect with others than right now.  Everything you need is at your fingertips.  Investing fifteen minutes of your time every day is enough to learn how to use all the free tools you need to build a social network.
• Google rewards consistency.  The number one reason my stories rank so high on the Google search results is because I contribute one story every day.  Higher visibility draws in more readers which boosts the rankings even higher.
• The best way to find your voice is to use it.  The more I write, the easier it gets, especially when I pick topics I'm passionate about.
• Less is more.  Keep your stories brief and leave your readers wanting more.  Give them a reason to come back every day.  They don't want "War and Peace" in your daily blog.  What they do appreciate is a snippet about your daily challenges.  I like to conclude with a lesson I learned and invite my readers to add their comments.
• Your blog is your cyber-sandbox.  There are no rules.  You have a blank canvass in front of you.  Play.  Have fun.  Experiment.  Invite others to play with you.

Thank you for stopping by today.  These last four years have flown by so quickly.  I really appreciate it when you send me an email or leave a comment.  Some of you out there may feel like the parents of a musician who brings home a tuba and doesn't know how to play.  The sounds you hear through the walls make you cringe, like someone is scratching their fingernails on a chalk board.  Don't worry.  I'm getting the hang of it.  I promise you I will never give up.  See you tomorrow at 8:08.  Don't forget to add your comment below.

Swim in the Sea of Contentment

Contentment:  A state of happiness and satisfaction.

I listened to a song this morning written by a 96-year-old man who claims he is neither a singer nor a songwriter.  Fred Stobaugh found the love of his life seventy-five years ago.  One month after she left this world, Fred expressed his love for her in a song he wrote and entered in a contest.  His song didn't fit the criteria for the contest, however, the folks were so touched they turned Fred's love song into an amazing tribute.  The photos in the video show two love birds spending their lives together swimming in a sea of contentment.  Click on the YouTube video below to hear Fred's amazing song.  When you're done, ask yourself, am I ready to take a swim in the sea of contentment?  Please share your answers in the comments section below.

What's Inside Your Treasure Chest?

Imagine for a moment that you are walking on a beach.  You discover a treasure chest washed up on the shore.  It's heavy.  The outside is weather-beaten.  It appears to be very old. There is a lock on the outside.  A crowd gathers.  A locksmith steps forward to offer you help with the lock.  You think about all the riches that are inside.  The atmosphere around you is like being in Las Vegas at a gambling table.  The crowd cheers when the lock is picked.  You throw open the lid.  The only sound you hear is from the ocean waves crashing.  There's no gold.  No silver.  Nothing but a stack of spiral notebooks filled with hand-written notes.  The crowd disperses.  You open up one of the notebooks and begin reading.  You discover that these are love letters.  There are two authors -- a husband and a wife.  The notebooks belonging to the wife are neat and expressive.  The notebooks from the husband are difficult to read because the penmanship is erratic.  You can't stop reading because each love letter is filled with so much emotion and heart.  You wonder, who are these people?

I know the answer.  This is my own treasure chest.  It has thousands of love letters inside it.  Some were penned at the lowest points in my life when I thought I was drowning.  Others were written during times of mountain-top experiences.  When our lives are over, we plan to turn over our treasure chest to our children.  They will decide whether to share the treasure chest or cast it into the ocean.  This is what we will leave behind.  Our memories are our most valuable treasures.  Our love for one another is more valuable than all the gold and silver in the world.

Please ponder for a moment what items you would like to place in your treasure chest.  When you leave this world, who will you pass your treasure chest to?  Thanks for sharing your answers in the comments section below.  I look forward to reading about your treasures.

How Do You Measure Your Blessings?

One of the most treasured blessings in my life measures 5 feet, four inches tall.  Three more blessings initially weighed in at six pounds, 14 ounces; six pounds, 12 ounces and six pounds, eight ounces.  Other blessings are intangible and impossible to measure.  To the untrained eye, these types of blessings look more like storms or are disguised as wildfires.  Here are some examples of blessings I failed to properly categorize:

1. Unemployment.
2. Short sale of my home.
3. Loss of A+ credit rating.
4. Investment losses.
5. Countless earthquakes, two wildfires, several blizzards and tornadic winds.

"How can these be blessings?" you ask.  Just as storms leave us with brilliant rainbows in the aftermath or as wildfires inspire new life to spring forth from the ashes,  I feel like a new person today.  I have a greater appreciation for my family, my friends and my faith.  I found tranquility.  I discovered that I can be happy in all circumstances.  Here's the best blessing of all:  I am now a fearless follower of Jesus Christ.  I believe He is with me always.  And my prayer for you today is that your blessings are so enormous your scale breaks.

Please share how you measure the blessings in your life.  Have a great day.

Why You Should Become Fluent in Your Spouse's Love Language

Love is spoken in many languages, often without words.  Those who excel in love understand one basic principle --  it's all about the right love language.  I recommend five steps to help you become a better lover.

1. Click here to link to the 5 Love Languages and find out what your love language is.
2. Ask your love to take the test.
3. Share the results.
4. Use the results to express yourself in your partner's favorite love language.
5. Do something everyday to become fluent in your partner's love language.

Once you master your spouse's love language, examine your relationships with your parents, your children, your friends and other people you are in regular contact with.  If you are having trouble communicating with others, odds are you aren't speaking their favorite love language.

Would you like to share what your favorite love language is?  Please leave your comments below.  Thanks for participating.