Learning to Cope in a Changing World

Star Date: 06.24.25

There are seasons in life when the ground seems to shift beneath our feet. Lately, I’ve been living in one of those seasons.

I’ve lost dear friends and family members—people whose presence brought light to my days. Some passed unexpectedly. Others after long, painful journeys. Grief doesn’t just show up once and leave; it lingers. It weaves its way into daily life, sometimes quiet and sometimes overwhelming.

And while I grieve those losses, I’m also walking alongside other friends who are facing major health challenges of their own. Some are fighting battles with cancer, chronic illness, or emotional pain that doesn’t show on the outside. Watching people I love suffer is a different kind of ache—a helpless kind that left me asking: How do I cope with all of this?

For a while, I tried to keep going like everything was fine. I leaned on old patterns—keep busy, stay distracted, look strong. But I started to realize those patterns weren’t working anymore. Beneath the surface, anxiety and sadness were growing. I finally reached a point where I had to admit, “I need help.”

So I sought professional support.

And I want to say this out loud because I know someone needs to hear it: Turning to therapy wasn’t a sign of weakness. It was a sign that I wanted to live—and live well. It was in those safe conversations with a counselor that I learned something surprising. The grief I’ve been carrying isn’t just sorrow; it’s also depression. And naming it brought relief. It gave me permission to stop pretending I was fine.

I also began to look at how I was coping. There are four common types of coping mechanisms, and I’ve experienced each one in some way:

1. Problem-Focused Coping

Sometimes, taking a step—any step—toward a solution brings peace. I started making small changes: adjusting my routine, setting boundaries, and saying no when my plate was too full. Just making a doctor’s appointment or committing to a daily walk felt like reclaiming some control.

2. Emotion-Focused Coping

There are days when all I can do is breathe through the feelings. I’ve learned to cry when I need to, to write when words get stuck inside, and to lean into music or prayer when my heart feels heavy. The emotion doesn’t go away, but it no longer owns me.

3. Meaning-Focused Coping

This one has anchored me the most. I believe that even in pain, purpose can rise. I find meaning in writing, in encouraging others, and in supporting children through the hospital that changed my life. Faith gives me a reason to keep going when I can’t explain the why.

4. Avoidance Coping

Yes, I’ve been here too. Whether it’s zoning out on my phone, eating too much comfort food, or pretending everything’s fine—it’s tempting to numb the pain. But I’ve learned these quick fixes don’t bring healing. They just delay it. Healing takes courage—and I’m choosing courage, even when it feels slow.

What’s different now is that I’m more honest—with God, with others, and with myself. I’m making changes in my approach to life. And while the road isn’t easy, it’s real. It’s filled with grace. I’m learning how to live with loss, walk beside suffering, and still look forward with hope.

If you're feeling overwhelmed or grieving right now, please know this: you're not alone. It's okay to admit that you're not okay. There’s help available—and healing begins when we stop trying to carry it all on our own.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18