My life before meeting Jesus

I have been asked by a family member to share about the anger I had as a teenager. I will do my best to respond in a way that does not violate the privacy of my family. This is an important topic since it allows me to share how I found the solution...

Growing up in a large family is like being a member of a football team. When you are prepared, you win and it is fun. When you fail to communicate or watch each others' back, bad things happen.

The early seasons for our "team" went very well. New players were added over a ten year period and we were a strong family. As we grew up together, we camped and hung out with other teams from our "division". The teams in our division all looked similar on the outside, that is, we worshiped the same God, and shared the same values.

It was not until high school that I started to meet players from other divisions. Some did not even believe in God. A few even went so far as to tell me that I would not go to Heaven unless I changed teams and signed up with them. I loved fighting with these wackos because I was certain that they needed to be straightened out.

Just when I needed my "quarterback" the most, he left the team. He didn't just leave the team, he left the city, and later, the country. He would visit his old team about once a year, usually for about an hour and then he would go back to his new team.

Our team began to have losing season after losing season. The players lost their sense of direction. At times, we thought we might be getting a new quarterback and the thought of this made me angry. Our old quarterback was never going to come back and life was not good.

I asked God to take me off of the team. The pressure of losing daily was really getting to me and I wanted to quit football forever. God said no. Then my anger started to turn into hate. I hated the players from the other divisions. If they didn't think like me, they weren't worth my time. I pretty much hated everybody outside my division, communists, gays, nonbelievers, etc, etc. I was really messed up. Everywhere I looked, I could only see evil. Little by little, the Evil One was taking advantage of my broken team and soon I turned into the "naked cave man possessed by demons" (see earlier post about my first Bible lesson). I only went to church so I could be an "example" for my younger team-mates. I sat in the back of the church and if no one was there, I turned the sound off because I wasn't in the mood to listen to anyone in authority.

The Evil One had clever ways of confusing me. I stopped praying the "Our Father" because I thought it was some sort of trap. What I mean by that is there is a clause the says "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others". Was I really asking God to punish me since I punished every enemy that crossed me? Forgiveness would not be in my vocabulary for many, many years. This attitude added about fifty pounds of concrete to the heavy load I was already carrying. It did not make me a valuable member of my football team.

Once I realized that God was not going to take me off the field, I began to pray for Wisdom so that I could survive. The Evil One put thoughts in my head that God was too busy to get back to me. My prayer for Wisdom was so that I could solve my problems on my own, I just wanted a couple of pointers now and then.

It is hard to acquire Wisdom when you are possessed by demons. Since I was so stubborn and "uncoachable", God sent me my future wife so He could reach me through her. From the moment I met her, I sensed there was some good in her that I was attracted to. She went to church regularly and I started going with her. Finally, I had something to thank God for.

The day I opened my mostly unused Bible and asked God to show me who I am, is also the first day my demons were cast out of my messed up mind. I did not even realize I was possessed until God revealed it to me. Jesus showed me that He can transform Himself from Words into a real person and "time travel" 2,000 years into the future to meet me as I am reading about Him.

This experience inspired me to begin fulfilling my destiny... publishing all the good that Jesus has done for me. You are reading this post today because you are part of the story and we already know how it ends...GOD WINS!

My journey continues now that I am out of the cave. My next big experience after the first Bible lesson was to go to a retreat. During this three day weekend, I discussed my unforgiving ways with the "shepherds". Something happened when an ancient technique called the "laying of the hands" was used on me at the end of the retreat. It had to do with inviting Jesus in to my heart. At the moment the hands were placed over my head, I had a vision. Jesus was next to me but I could not see Him. In front of me was a long row of people. They all had something in common, they were all people that had crossed me and that I had never forgiven. One of the people was my old "quarterback" who abandoned his team when it needed a leader. In the vision, I was thanking Jesus for each and every one of them. A few minutes after having this "vision" I woke up and the church was mostly empty. A strange sense of peace that I had never known before was in my heart.

One of the first things I did after the retreat was send an email to my old quarterback telling him of my experience at the retreat. When he replied, he told me he wanted to visit. I was stunned because I never thought I would see him again after he moved deep into Mexico.

A series of miracles occurred almost daily when my quarterback returned for his thirty five day visit. He asked for a "huddle" with his old teammates and everyone including his ex-wife agreed to a meeting. It would be the last time I would hear my quarterback speak but his words and actions inspire me to this day. He had brought a checklist with him and made sure that every item was complete before the game was over. We were now at the two minute warning and my quarterback had his eyes fixed on the end zone for the game winning touch down.

As our quarterback looked around, he and my mother rejoiced at how the "team" had overcome so much. We were much older and now there were grandchildren who were being groomed future games. It was time for our quarterback to make the final play call and all of us were eager to defeat the enemy that had kicked our butts for so many years.

The final play call was a "HAIL MARY". The receiver he picked was often overlooked in his early years but he got up to speed quickly during the thirty five days that our quarterback was in town. There was no way that this receiver was going to drop the ball. The enemy had harassed him all his life and this time he was going to be open for the game winner.

As the final seconds of the game clock clicked to zero, my brother was open and my left-handed father threw a pass that was executed to perfection. We all jumped up and down for joy. The enemy had finally been defeated and the game was over.

Then, we looked over at our quarterback and he was down. The defense had piled up on top of him just after he threw the final pass. There wasn't much left of him due to the cancer that had riddled his body and he never got up off of the ground. I whispered into his ear, "its OK, dad, its time for you to be with Jesus, your work here is done and the game is over now. We won! We love you!"

Our team huddled over our quarterback one final time and ended with the "Our Father" prayer. We had just won our first Super Bowl and the enemy had been conquered. Jesus was our coach and our Solution and now He had called up my father to spend eternity with the team owner.

In Memory of 9/11

Today is a day of remembrance. One of my cousins lost a close friend who was traveling on a plane on 9/11. He was one of the brave passengers who rallied others and stood up to the terrorists. He was a family man and a Christian.

I have a feeling that he said a prayer before he said, "lets roll" and brought the plane down before it could be used for evil purposes. I am posting Psalm 91 in honor of my cousin's friend and all those who lost their lives on 9/11. Pay special attention to the last lines in the Psalm and say a prayer for the families that are missing their loved ones...

Psalm 91

My Refuge and My Fortress

91:1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say [1] to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”

3 For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his pinions,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
5 You will not fear the terror of the night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
8 You will only look with your eyes
and see the recompense of the wicked.

9 Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place—
the Most High, who is my refuge [2]—
10 no evil shall be allowed to befall you,
no plague come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways.
12 On their hands they will bear you up,
lest you strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the adder;
the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot.

14 “Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him;
I will protect him, because he knows my name.
15 When he calls to me, I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”

Kobayashi Maru

My wife discovered some unused movie tickets while she was cleaning and we decided to take the family to see the new Star Trek movie. As we were driving to the movie theater, I shared memories of my childhood with my three teenagers. The first time I watched Star Trek, it was on a black and white TV. Now, we were about to see my childhood heroes on the big screen. How exciting to share this experience with my family.

Since my wife had never really seen more than a couple of episodes, I decided to give the family a little background on this group of people who had a mission to go where no man had gone before. I shared the story of the "Kobayashi Maru", a no-win scenario that star fleet cadets had to face. No matter what choice the cadet made, it led to certain death.

The day before the big test, James Kirk reprogrammed the computers so that he could win. He shocked everybody with his "creativity" and became a hero that lives on more than forty years since Gene Roddenberry created the original series.

My wife looked at me with a huge smile as we watched Kirk on the big screen. There he was on the bridge showing no signs of fear as the enemy approached. The "Kobayashi Maru" was repeated for my whole family to see and we were sitting so close to the screen that I felt like I was on the bridge as Kirk did the "impossible" and conquered his 23rd century Goliath.

One of the biggest problems that I see every day in our world is that many of us think we are facing the "Kobayashi Maru" scenario and there is no way to win. Instead of getting creative, we give up.

At Zoom, the attitude is that if there is no current way to solve a problem, we need to invent a way. Sometimes, the best way to win is to get the customer to look at his problem differently. Some customers believe print is dead. We show them how we tie new internet technology to old ideas and how our new "hybrid" is better than any other solution on the market. In essence, we are doing just what captain Kirk did...finding a way out of the "Kobayashi Maru".

The lesson I learned from these fictional characters, is that even when I am faced with certain death, I refuse to give up. I am thankful to have a wife and business partners that have the same attitude. Success comes from changing your mind-set first.

Live long and prosper!

Perseverance

Today's post is in honor of one of my cousins who is celebrating his 49th birthday today. When we were growing up, he was like a twin brother to me. One of our favorite activities was playing tennis and when we were in high school, we actually competed against each other. My cousin is the superior athlete and I look up to him even though I am older (by two months and five days).

The scar on my knee came from trying to beat him in a downhill race when were kids. He fixed me up pretty good but he still tells me he wished he could have done something for the head injury. Today, he is a world-class doctor and parent. My cousin is one of the best examples of one who perseveres and he has always been an inspiration to me. My birthday present to him is to just say thanks for always being there and for being such an awesome cousin.

Once I have secured permission from others, those of you following this blog will have access to extraordinary talent that comes from other friends and family members. Some of the stories border on the unbelievable but the success comes from persevering in the face of adversity.

I started playing tennis just prior to entering high school. Many of my friends moved on to a private high school and I found new friends in my neighborhood public school. Although most people around me thought I had my head together (except maybe my cousin, the future doc), I was carrying around a lot of anger inside of me. When I would be on the tennis courts, I could block out all the negative stuff that was in my head. My cousin and I would ride our bikes to the courts and play for hours and hours.

I spent my first two years of college at a community college and competed on the tennis team. It seemed like every number one player from all of the surrounding high schools was trying out for this team. I was not as talented as these other players but didn't want to be anywhere else except on a tennis court.

It was at the start of my second year on the team that my coach told me he did not think I could make the cut. We had some new talent vying for a spot and it did not look good for me or my doubles partner. We asked the coach not to cut us. Instead we would work longer and harder on the courts to prove that we belonged on the team. We fought hard and we won. At the end of the year, I earned a special award, called the "spark plug" award for my contributions to the team. This was also my first lesson in perseverance.

When we decided to compete with Goliath, we knew that this would be a battle like nothing we had seen before. We set up about a thousand distribution points in less than thirty days. We invented software from scratch. There were days when we watched the sun come up while still working. Then, the unthinkable happened...when we distributed our second batch of weekly magazines, we discovered that very few customers had picked up magazines from our launch the week prior. We knew we would be dead if the results weren't there right away. In fact, we lost most of our customers during our first two months in business because Zoom was not making the phone ring. They even had proof, compliments of free telephone tracking numbers provided at no charge by Goliath.

We came up with a plan to "re-distribute" these magazines on driveways. The only problem was that we were already working overtime to sell ads, type ads, and distribute magazines. We got our spouses and children involved in the re-distribution process. The kids would rubber band the magazines and throw them on driveways, usually until about midnight.

Our customers started to get phone calls (thank you, Goliath, for giving away the tracking numbers showing how Zoom was working) and we survived. Goliath had predicted that we would not be around more than 90 days. Almost five years later, we are getting ready to launch in our third city and Goliath has retreated from the publishing arena. They told their customers that print was dead. Our tire customer that is getting 1,700 Zoom calls per month may have trouble believing that statement!

It is time for me to go to work. Goliath laid off about 4,000 talented people when they exited the print business. My partners and I will do our best to hire some of them. Maybe we will be in your city soon. You can follow us by checking out our website, ZoomAutos.com. For now, don't ever give up, no matter how challenging your situation is.

Happy Birthday, cousin!

Goals

One of the first things I did when I entered the cave (see my first post) was to prepare a list of about 30 goals. The list included fun things like "play tennis once per week" and difficult things like "help my boss get our team to #1 in the country". I worked diligently to achieve these goals and they allowed me to stay focused.

As I begin this day, two things on my "to do" list will be complete before most of you wake up. My wife has her love letter and I have "published" all the good that God has done for me. The rest of my day will be dedicated to my Zoom partners. I know where I am going and what I need to do. My work day will end around midnight.

You are probably asking yourself how some people seem to get so much done while others flounder. For me, it begins with goal setting. First, I set goals that are in alignment with the Creator's will for me. This includes spending time learning from those that are smarter than me. I spend a minimum of 90 minutes per day commuting and I use this time wisely. Why not listen to a motivational tape on your way to work? If this is one of your goals for the day, don't allow a distraction to get in the way.

While I was in the cave, my employer sent me away for some training. I was impressed with the abundance of food they gave us. As I was leaving to fly home, I asked the trainer what she was going to do with the left-over food. They were planning to throw it out so I asked if I could have some extra food to take home.

When my plane landed, I knew exactly where I was going. There are a group of homeless people that I met when I delivered Zoom magazines near our airport. Some are there for a short time until they get back on their feet and others are there permanently because there is nowhere else to go. I made sure to meet these people and spend time with them every Friday when I was on my Zoom delivery route.

I parked my car and started walking with this lunch box. The lady I found was wrapped in a tattered blanket. I asked "How are you today?" She greeted me with a warm smile and replied, "fine". She had no teeth. I offered her the extra lunch and walked away. As I departed, I wondered just how long it had been since she had a visitor or a meal. My goal for the day had been completed and now it was time to return to my family.

Maybe your goals include losing weight or getting rid of an addiction in your life. Write down how much weight you want to lose and break it down into daily goals. Get accountability partners to help you stay committed. Start by losing one ounce and build on that. Change the way you look at food or addictions. Imagine yourself in the future at your desired weight and don't stop. Make exercise a part of your life. Live your life to its fullest.

Carpe Diem!

Fear

I will never forget my first public speaking appearance. I was in grade school and there was this public speaking contest that took place in front of all the grades. My mother was in the audience as I read an excerpt from Erma Bombeck, "the Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank." Some of my peers were nervous but I couldn't wait for my turn. It was a home run and I earned a 3rd place award.

That appearance gave me confidence to say yes when another cast member got scared and dropped out of a grade school play. He had the lead role (Ebenezer Scrooge) in "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens. You see, my character had to deal with ghosts from the past, present and future and these spirits helped Scrooge to change his life. This was my first experience dealing with ghosts. I had limited time to learn my lines. If I got stuck, someone would call my lines into me from off-stage. Most people would have stopped public speaking after going through these miss-steps in front of a crowd, but this was just the beginning of what the Creator had planned for me.

I brought up public speaking first since this is the number one fear for most of you reading this post. My greatest fear is getting stuck with needles. I was so scared when the blood mobile came to my work and I tried to avoid giving blood. My peers cajoled me and I ended up in line. After going through so much anxiety, the nurse rejected me. She told me it would be too much trouble to get the blood to come out. I asked to get a note from her to show my buddies that they refused me.

Years later, I was approached by another blood mobile in front of Home Depot. "The blood supply is critical", I was told. I decided it was time to face my fear and I got through it but it was not easy. I ended up on their phone list and always avoided committing because of my fear of needles.

Recently, my wife signed up to give blood at our church. She knew my fear and told me I was "excused". I thought of my neighbors from my hood (see earlier post) and decided I would donate. My blood came out slowly but enough came out to make the donation a success.

Another childhood fear I experienced daily had to do with selling "starts" on my newspaper job. It would take me all morning to get the courage to go out and ask for the newspaper order and many slammed their door in my face. Thank God that McDonald's was close by so I could buy a milk shake and work up the courage to go knock on another door. I started delivering newspapers in the 7th grade and found that I could increase my income if I overcame my fear of "selling" and got new orders for home delivery.

When I was fifteen, my dad sold me his '71 VW Super Beetle to raise money for his business. I paid him cash from my paper route money. The car was parked until I got my driver's license on my 16th birthday. This is when I experienced one of the greatest fears of my life...

I gathered up my friends in the hood for my first camping trip without parents. We headed to the white mountains in Arizona and camped for a couple of days on the Indian reservation. On the way home, my friend in the back seat yelled that the engine was on fire. I quickly shut off the engine. Next, the steering wheel became locked. We were coming up on a right turn and I was about to cross the line into traffic. There was a 300 foot cliff and I was either going to go over the cliff or have a head-on collision. Because I was forcing the steering wheel to go right while in the locked position, I could not get the key to turn. I kept going straight to the cliff.

When it looked like we were all going to die, I cried out, "God help me!" The key turned, I regained control of my VW and we pulled over. We used a rag to put out the fire. When the traffic cleared, we crossed the road to see how steep the cliff was. This was the beginning of my prayer life.

Our very first brand new vehicle was a Chevy Lumina van. I was on my way to the dealership to have them fix an electrical problem when it went completely dead at a red light. I noticed two vehicles in my lane behind me. They were approaching at about 60 mph and did not know I was stopped. Frantically, I tried to restart the van...Nothing! I thought the best thing to do was jump out of the van so I unbuckled my seat belt. It was too late, the vehicles were about to rear end me and my life was about to be over. Just like my childhood prayer, I yelled out, "God help me!" I was totally helpless and the cars were about to strike me. I didn't even have time to re-buckle my seat belt.

The first car swerved to my right and missed me by inches. The skid marks stretched all the way around the van. A few seconds later, the second car swerved to my left, also missing me by inches. I looked in my rear view mirror and more cars were coming. Then, I tried the key again and the van started. I pulled off to the side of the road and parked the van. A few minutes later, my work buddy pulled over and asked me what was up. He shook his head as he looked at the skid marks and then offered my a ride to work. Once again, I thanked God for answering my prayer.

It doesn't rain much in southern California so it took months before the skid marks disappeared. They were my daily reminder that I must have some kind of purpose here on this planet. My time in the cave has given me time to reflect and prepare for what is ahead.

We attended a pool party yesterday and I heard "Come Sail Away" just after I talked about my new blog experience. Putting your sails up all the way may be scary and getting out of your comfort zone may also cause anxiety. The lesson I have learned about facing fear is that you can face any goliath in front of you if you remember just how big God is that is right behind you.

May you enjoy this Labor Day without any fear or anxiety. Don't forget to sign up to be an organ donor... Erma Bombeck is no longer with us because she died from kidney disease. Too bad, because she knew how to make the world laugh and I thank her for giving me such great material. I will always remember her any time I am doing public speaking.

Fear not!

My Biggest Bible Lesson

Yesterday I was one of over 750,000 people to take advantage of Labor Day Weekend at the beach. While most of the people were celebrating the end of summer, I was celebrating the start of my life outside the cave. A family member was in the back seat telling me to forget about the beach parking lot. He said, "it will be impossible to find parking on a day like this". He was about to get his first lesson in manifesting, a very special tool that can be used when you find yourself in an impossible situation. I began my prayer of manifesting so that we would be Blessed with an ideal parking space and my prayer included a thank you to God in advance for honoring this request. We got row 2 parking and this family member learned how to pray effectively. God even threw in a bonus that I received while waiting for everyone else to park... a free towel from a radio station promoter. "Think Blue" was stamped on the towel and it was the last one. This was the very similar to the slogan ADT used and it was God's way of showing me that I was on the right path by leading others to him. The bonus gift is funny to me because I only prayed for a parking spot. God loves to "over-deliver."

As I share my biggest Bible lesson ever, I need to give you some more background first. I was born on the 4th of July. As a child, I thought all the fireworks were to celebrate my birthday. My favorite book was "Mike Mulligan and his Steam Shovel." It was a story about a steam shovel owner who cherished his pride and joy named Marianne. When the steam shovels became dated, Mike Mulligan made a bet that he could compete with the newer equipment and could finish a job by sunset. He and Marianne worked at this very fast pace to complete the job on time. The more people that came to cheer them on, the faster they worked. The job got done in time but Mike Mulligan forgot to leave a way out for Marianne. The story ended when Marianne was converted from a steam shovel to a power supply for the new facility she was stuck in.

I am much older now. As I look back on my life, I see many errors in my thinking. I also see that without God leading me, I could easily end up "trapped", just like Mike Mulligan's steam shovel that had no way out of the hole he dug for her. I have also learned that even though it appears there is no way out of a bad situation, God can "convert" my challenge into something worthwhile.

One day I was listening to a visitor at our church. The message he delivered was that reading the
Bible is like looking into a mirror. Each character is a mirror-image of ourselves and the lessons these people learned can help us when we are lost.

I went home and told my wife I was going to try out this mirror idea. The first thing I did was pray to the Holy Spirit to "reveal" who I really am in God's eyes. I opened my mostly unused Bible to a "random" page and began reading the upper right column of St. Luke. I started with verse 26 of chapter 8. The character that was revealed to me was this "possessed" man who lived in a cave away from the town. He did not wear clothes and his life was a mess.

At first I was shocked and angry about this character but as I continued reading I realized something Divine was happening. This naked man sees Jesus and his buddies getting of a boat and he confronts Jesus. First question out his mouth is "what do I have to do with thee, Jesus, Son of the most high God?" Next, Jesus starts talking with the man to find out who he is. The man answers, "legions" (meaning multiple demons). By the way, how did a crazy man know who this stranger was when his own followers did not know (great topic that we will deal with another day)?

Jesus orders the demons to leave. The demons don't want to go to hell so they beg Jesus to send them somewhere else. Jesus sends them into the swine who are close by and they go crazy and jump over a cliff. The people taking care of the swine go back to town to talk about the naked man (me) and Jesus. When the whole town comes out to see what's up, the man (me) is clothed and sitting with Jesus having a great conversation.

The people in the town are afraid so they ask Jesus to depart. The man (me again) asks Jesus to take him with him in his boat (I am hearing "come sail away" again). Jesus says no. He orders the man to stop living in the cave (are you starting to see the connection from my first post?), and he asks the man (me) to tell of the great things God hath done to thee.

In this Douay Rhiems version (lots of thees and thous) the man "publishes" the great things Jesus has done to him. When Jesus comes back, the whole town is there waiting for Jesus and everybody lives happily ever after.

For the first time ever, I experienced Jesus as if I was there in the cave when he arrived about 2,000 years ago when St. Luke wrote this story. The demon thing explained all my confusion with our world. There was a time in my childhood when I actually prayed for God to take me and he said "no". This naked man was me and Jesus revealed my past, present and future with one strange character that was my alter ego. It took many months to absorb this Bible lesson.

So, my job is to publish all the great things that Jesus has done for me. It has been many years since I had this "conversion" experience and I must confess that I let other things get in the way of doing what Jesus asks of me. It is not easy to surrender completely to Jesus. This is why I ask my wife to stay in the boat with me no matter how stormy the conditions or how hard it is to just sit there when there is no wind.

My life since letting Jesus be my Lord and Savior is very different. I realize that He is going to keep giving me "flashes of light" that are to be published for the benefit of you, the reader of this blog. I know how this story ends..... Jesus returns and all of you are waiting for Him. That is the job of the "cave man", to publish until the day He returns. When that day comes, I won't have to be worried about any more flashes of light or "bolts of lightning". Jesus will finally answer my teenage prayer and we can all sail away.

If you feel like you are a steam shovel and your life is meaningless, ask God to convert you. There is always something for you to contribute even when you think you are "dated". Happy Labor Day weekend and God Bless!