The Vault

The confidence people have in you and their willingness to share with you is directly related to your ability to keep sensitive conversations private.  When people don't trust you, look in the mirror and ask yourself what you can do to fix the problem.  I have a rather simple solution that I use – the vault.  This is where I lock up all the secrets that are not to be shared publicly and I keep them there.  Sure, there are "bank robbers" and "lock pickers" who want to know about what's inside my vault but I question why they bother because they're not in the "circle of trust" for one specific reason, past performance reveals they have loose lips.

The next time someone asks you to keep a conversation private, put everything in the vault and leave it there forever.  If you ever leave the vault door open, you will lose all credibility.  Your personal integrity is on the line.  Be vigilant.  Have a great day.

Say I Love You with Acts of Service

Understanding your partner's love language is the key to reaching their heart.  Send the message the way your partner wants to receive it and watch your relationship soar to new heights.  Words aren't usually necessary unless your partner is fond of words of affirmation.  Acts of service go a long way when your partner prefers action over words.  Small stuff matters.  Washing dishes.  Tidying the house.  Pay attention to the details.

Consider your acts of service as gas station fill-ups.  Make sure you never run out of gas.  Every act of service you perform gradually fills the tank.  Neglect can also drain the relationship.  Run out of gas and it may doom your relationship.  Have a great day.

Harness the Slingshot Effect for Your Soul

NASA calls it a gravity assist.  It's the slingshot effect and it's used to accelerate a spacecraft in a planetary flyby.  This helps conserve fuel in missions to outer planets.  You can harness the slingshot effect for your soul in order to conserve your fuel for missions to places far off where you are called to be an ambassador for Jesus.  Your "gravity assist" is the Holy Spirit.  Here's what your flight pattern looks like:

1. Ask to be baptized in the Spirit.  Jesus did this at the beginning of his mission.  Ask and you shall receive.
2. Trust the Spirit to guide you on your mission.
3. You will experience jitters once you discover exactly what your mission is and you may even think you don't have what it takes to accomplish all you're being asked to do.  Point yourself toward the Spirit and run, don't walk.  Get as close as you can.  Get ready for the rush of adrenaline you are about to experience.
4. Slingshot.
5. Keep breathing.
6. No matter how far you are from home, remember you've been blessed with all the fuel you need to reach your destination.
7. When your journey is complete, you will be called home.  All you have to do is let your engine shut down and allow the gravity to bring you back to where you belong.

You're cleared for take off.  Have a great day.

The Empty Seat at the Table

Odds are you know one of the families I'm referring to today on this Memorial Day.  It takes a special person to sign up for something that may lead to loss of life.  Family members who have suffered the loss of a hero ask why others say, "Happy Memorial Day."  That empty seat at the table is a quiet reminder that a loved one is missing today.

My heart goes out to all the families who lost a mother, father, son, daughter, brother, sister or friend serving our country.  Keep these families in your prayers.  As much as you want to wish others a Happy Memorial Day, please respect the families who are hurting today.  This day is really about them.  They paid a high price for today's barbecue.  Do something today to show your respect for their loss. 

When Your Patience is on Thin Ice

We all have those days.  Our best made plans go astray.  Someone finds a way to get under our skin.  Our patience is suddenly on thin ice and the temperature is rising fast.  What's the next step?

I'm having one of those moments right now and I have a strange feeling I know exactly why.  It's the hour before I go to my house of worship and the dark side is on full attack.  Every two minutes an error message pops up on my screen...an error occurred while trying to save or publish your post.  Please try again.  Arggghhh!!!

Who will win?  You may not see this post on time today despite all my best efforts.  All I can say is I'm not going to lose my patience today or any other day.  It's all about your attitude.  I'm going to get on my knees and pray for a patience reload.  My hope is the refill sustains me for another week.  If the ice gets too thin and I fall in, I'm not sinking, I'm swimming.  How about you?  Have a great day.

A Simple Method for Reducing Doubt, Anxiety or Fear

The more time you allot to doubt, anxiety or fear, the greater your challenges become.  It's like focusing on your worst possible outcomes so much that you can only see trouble in every direction.  Fear is an ugly monster who feeds on your doubts.  Your fears are scrumptious appetizers for the monster.  I believe the monster is necessary for preparation but should never be the center of your thoughts.  Keep the monster in the side view mirror, not directly in front of you.

I put my doubt monster on a diet a while back and he now appears more like a dangerous dog on a leash who can't harm me than an unstoppable force capable of destroying my life.  I also watch closely the thoughts I choose to consume.  Peace, harmony, health, love and abundance are on my plate and they help me minimize any negative thoughts that may seep in.  Negative thoughts are easier to digest when the positive foods are at or above a 90/10 ratio.  Follow this and you will become unstoppable.  Have a great day.

Living in Bonus Time

Defining moments can be make or break.  I really don't care if the glass is half full or half empty.  What I truly appreciate is being around to see the glass and everything else in this world including friends and family.  My close call in my auto accident allowed me an opportunity to evaluate my life.  This is bonus time.  Every moment is precious.  Every conversation is significant.  Every lesson is meaningful.

Make the most of your daily moments.  Live every day as if it were your last.  Savor your time with friends and family.  Only the time keeper knows how much time you have left and it doesn't matter as long as you don't ever waste the time you've been allotted.  Have a great day.

Another Battle at Waterloo Next Month

It's on the calendar next month and I couldn't be more excited.  Our men's 4.0 18+ team is playing in a winner take all playoff match in Waterloo on Saturday, June 23.  The weather will probably be hot, humid and windy.  The winner represents the state of Iowa in a regional tournament featuring some of the best tennis players in the Midwest in August.  Our captain believes we have a great shot at advancing.

I have a secret weapon.  It's my caveman food program.  Fast food is not an option.  Everything I eat is like high octane fuel and this helps me keep up with my opponents who are decades younger.  We will be practicing hard in the final weeks leading up to our showdown in Waterloo.  Have a great day.

Be Your Own Food Coach

The key to becoming your own food coach is to understand what your body needs and what causes your body harm.  If you can set aside all your past ideas about food and be willing to experiment, you may discover a new body in about 45 days.  Most of your ailments are self-inflicted.  The good news is you can reverse many diseases when you decide to coach yourself wisely.

Before you begin, take a good look at your current body.  Do you have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high triglycerides, heart disease, thyroid issues, arthritis, diabetes, excessive weight or any other health issues that may be a result of poor eating habits?  How many permission slips are in your medicine cabinet.  By the way, a permission slip is a prescription from your doctor to keep doing all the wrong things causing your health issues.  That's why your doctor may not be your best choice for food coach.  He or she is trained to mask your symptoms with pills.  Long term use of these pills may cause unwanted side effects.

If you're asking yourself, "how do I coach myself?"  you're at the right place to begin.  Treat everything you eat and don't eat as an experiment.  Weigh yourself daily so you can get the feedback you need to make adjustments.  Your doctor can help by assisting you with blood tests to evaluate which direction you're going.  Lipid panels tell you what's going on inside your body.

Go basic with your food choices in the beginning.  Cut out any foods with labels.  Your body can handle fruits, veggies, nuts, beans and seeds.  Water is your best choice for liquids.  I like one or two glasses of red or white wine with my evening meal.  Keep it basic for the first 45 days and then introduce other foods one at a time and monitor how your body responds.  Stay away from restaurants during the first 45 days since you really don't know what ingredients they're using.

If you're self coaching experiment gives you a new body, keep coaching yourself for the rest of your life.  If it doesn't, keep experimenting until you find the optimum food for your body.  Let me know how this works.  Have a great day.

When the Spirit Moves You

He's the invisible one.  Understanding the Spirit is like attempting to grasp the wind.  Good luck.  I'm writing about this topic today simply because I'm moved by the Spirit to share my own personal experience.  School lessons were primarily focused on God the Father and Jesus, the Son.  The truth is we pretty much "borrowed" everything we know about the Father from the chosen ones.  The Old Testament is a history lesson about the relationship between the Father and his people.  It's also filled with prophecies about what's ahead.  It's a love story but also a sad truth about brokenness and separation.  Jesus enters the picture in the New Testament but most of his own people don't recognize him.  Jesus chooses misfits to change the world.  The world fights back and crucifies him.  His own followers run and hide.  Cue the Holy Spirit.  The Energizer.  The Holy Spirit shows up near the end of the story but he's been around since before our beginning.  He has no beginning, just like the Father and the Son.

There are those who argue there is no God because they say an all-loving being would never allow the kind of evil we witness in our world.  I'm 100% certain this argument is false.  100%.  No doubt whatsoever.  Perhaps it's the Holy Spirit who gives me this certainty even though I cannot see him or experience him with my five senses.  I believe in my heart that evil exists because of one thing the creator so lovingly gives us – free will.  He gives us the choice to love him or leave him.  His first angels had it all, including free will.  A large group of them decided to leave him.  That was Hell.  Hell is no bueno.  These fallen spirits are doing everything they can to draw us into their dark place.  They paint a picture of how wonderful it is to be your own boss, do your own thing and not suffer any consequences.  It's a trap.  The other side falsely alleges that once you fall, you're done.  They will do everything they can to cover up who Jesus is.  There is one problem with this – the Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit will reveal the truth to you if you ask.  The Holy Spirit will clean you up when you get dirty.  The Holy Spirit will forgive anything.  All you have to do is ask.

When the Spirit moves you, locked doors open.  Chains and shackles fall off.  Addictions no longer have power.  You gain the wisdom to see something good in your worst enemies.  The greatest gift I received from the Holy Spirit is the ability to forgive and let go.  The Holy Spirit is my navigation system.  One day that navigation system will lead me and others who follow to Jesus.  When I meet Jesus I will finally meet the Father.  That's not the end of the story.  It's the beginning of a chapter with no end.  This is how it's meant to be for all of us, even those who weren't part of the first draft of chosen ones.

Do you feel the wind blowing today?  Perhaps there's a nudge to go in a certain direction.  Don't be afraid.  Trust the Spirit.  You may fall.  You may get hurt.  The only thing that really matters is believing the Spirit can lead you to Jesus.  Jesus will introduce you to the Father.  The mystery will be solved and invisible one will finally become visible.  Have a great day.

6 Year Anniversary at Day Job

I rarely share about my day job on my blog due to social media privacy concerns.  My hope is to one day gain permission to become an authorized speaker for the company I've been working for these last six years.  What an amazing journey it's been.  I showed up in my new home state sporting a Mulligan's island tee shirt from my cousin, Mark, and a donated winter coat from one of my former tennis teammates who once lived in Alaska.  It was a challenging time for our family because we laid our beloved pet, Lucky, to rest just before departing our family home of twenty-two years in Southern California.  I wasn't sure how our son's six pound chihuahua would do in the Midwest but my fears dissipated the first time I watched Roxy sprint in the open corn fields.  She appeared ready for a new adventure.  I was the uncertain one.  Word spread quickly that a family from California moved in.  A relative pointed out a new employer was expanding in the area and I jumped at the opportunity.  I was one of the first fifty hired.  Next to marrying the love of my life and raising three children who are now adults, this day job has been one of my greatest adventures of all times.

I would like to thank all my teammates for accepting me into their lives.  They were there for me at my lowest point when I got injured in a horrific auto accident earlier this year.  As much as I wanted to return to work, my boss put his foot down and urged me to make a full recovery first.  It was during those eight weeks off that I realized just how much I love my day job.  The work is rewarding and the people are top notch.  Six years later, Roxy is still sprinting in the corn fields.  I'm certain this is where I belong.  Many of the first fifty hired are still going strong and all of us are looking forward to exciting times ahead.  Happy Anniversary to my teammates.  Have a great day.

Focus

It's really easy to get distracted.  I believe in keeping it simple.  Focus.  Don't worry about things far off.  Concentrate on the next 24 hours and live in the present moment.  Do this and everything else will take care of itself.  Eat right.  Exercise right.  Sleep right.  Spend time with your loved ones.  Repeat tomorrow.  Have a great day.

Nonverbal Communication Pointers

What you say doesn't matter as much as how you say it; you're talking without words.  It's all in your body language.  If people aren't listening, try tuning in to your nonverbal communication mannerisms and examine what's turning people off.  Slumped shoulders, crossed arms and stares into space tell others you really don't want to be there.  These are easy fixes.

Invite people into the conversation with good posture and the "lean in" move.  Leaning in tells others you want to hear them and they are important.  What you choose to wear always signals the level of importance you place on the people around you.  Never underestimate the value of your smile.  Your frown may falsely signal that you don't like the people you are with.  Or, maybe you honestly don't like them.  The quickest way to shut them down is to give them a frown or a blank stare.  Give a little.  Brighten up the space around you.  This will give meaning to your words.  Have a great day.

Compliment Check

How often do you pay compliments to others?  If your self rating ranks down there with the Grinch who stole Christmas, today's story is for you.  Maybe you grew up in a household where compliments were reserved for CEO's – Christmas and Easter only.  Perhaps your boss doesn't want you to get a big head if he or she shares just how proficient you are.  It's difficult to compliment others when you rarely receive them yourself.  You're missing out on better relationships.  A good pat on the back goes a long way, especially if you're a parent or are in a leadership role.

Compliments make the world go around.  They encourage others to keep going in tough conditions.  You may be thinking, hey, these people around me don't deserve any compliments.  They're lazy, they make mistakes and I can't think of one think good to say about them.

You need to find one good thing.  Start small.  Be genuine.  If you really see others this way, you may be responsible for their lack of motivation.  Give them one compliment and watch their behavior change right before your eyes.  You can be the change the world needs.  Compliments are contagious.  Go ahead.  Make someone's day today.  Be lavish in your praise.  Have a great day.

What's on Your Calendar?

Your calendar is more than dates and times.  It's one of the most powerful influences in your life if you use it wisely.  Leave it blank and your life will drift away like a sailboat without a sail.  Beware of overfilling or you may burn out.  I believe experimenting will help you find an optimum schedule that helps you reach the life you're dreaming about today.  I find one day of rest once a week helps me to be my best and feel my best.  Think of your calendar as a sheet of music and find harmony in all the chords.  Practice until you get the beat just right and remember you are in charge of your own music.  Be creative and customize your calendar to help you get the tune right.  Have a great day.

Gratitude Unlocks Door to Happiness

I'm offering you one of my favorite keys today.  Without this key, you may find happiness to be elusive.  I know many people who could use this key but choose not to.  Maybe they would rather wallow in their misery.  Too bad.  This key is the only thing I need to enter my happiness zone.  No matter what's going on in my life, I can always find one thing to be thankful for.  Please do me a favor and share your key with others.  Unlock the door for them.  Invite them in.  Happiness is best served when you're serving others.  Thank you for visiting today.  I'm thankful you're in my life.  Have a great day.

It Begins with a Decision

Ever wonder how others get things done?  They breeze through their to do lists effortlessly while you struggle to find a starting point.  I've been there.  Stuck in the mud.  Weighed down by heavy workloads.  One step forward, then two backward.  I know what's missing.  It's the decision to pursue your purpose.  Decide you will discover the meaning of your life and that's when everything falls into place.  Heaven and earth will work with you to accomplish all the Creator has planned for you.  Everything else is meaningless clutter.

Perhaps you're thinking, how do I find my purpose?  I have a great idea – ask your Creator to reveal it to you.  Yep.  It's that simple.  God wants you to be aware of the master plan for your life.  It's not only the plan but the timing.  Everything you need to be successful is in place – the people, the challenges and the assignments.  Your obstacles are also part of the plan.  That's where the timing comes into play.  Arrive too soon and you won't meet the people you need to meet.  Take everything in stride.  Be patient.  Trust your instincts.  Once you decide you will discover your purpose your journey becomes meaningful and you will get things done.  Have a great day.

Got Joy?

The trauma team doctors were caught off-guard when I asked, "when can I play tennis again?"

Maybe my timing wasn't appropriate given my circumstances at the moment I was admitted to the hospital but I really wanted to know.  The first answer the doctor blurted out was, "six weeks – minimum."  His emphasis was on minimum.  His answer was my starting point in my recovery.  I couldn't play tennis with seven broken ribs but I could visualize it in my mind.  There's no pain when you're eyes are closed and you're in your happy place doing what you love.

What's holding you back from joy in your life?  Are you missing out on what brings you joy?  Why?  These questions are important to ask yourself because joy is an important ingredient in life and if it's not there, life will be dull and uninspiring.

The other day I received a random compliment while I was typing and I remembered how pathetic my typing skills were in my college days.   My mother saved me from doom when my hunt and peck typing method wasn't cutting it on important term papers.   Besides tennis, my real joy comes from writing.  The more I type on my laptop, the easier the key strokes become.  Is the joy increasing?  Yes.  I'm doing what I love.  I'm always looking for a better way to improve my serve or put a sentence together.  That's my recommendation for you – discover what you love and make the time to do it.  Have a great day.

Happy Mother's Day

God bless all our mothers.  The world is a better place because of the love they give us.  I'm blessed to have a mother who is always there for me, especially in the challenging times when I need words of wisdom and encouragement.  I would not be where I am today without my mother's influence and guidance.  Thank you, mom, for your love, your prayers and your amazing attitude.  You always know what to say and you will always be my hero.  May your special day be filled with abundant blessings.  I love you.  Have a great day.

Compliments are Investments in Others

Never underestimate the value of your compliments.  They are investments in others.  Regular deposits ensure dividends in human capital.  They are game changers.  I will never forget the compliments I received at the lowest points in my life.  Today I would like to compliment my youngest sister who crossed the finish line of her greatest marathon she has ever faced.  She is officially a college graduate.  Way to go, sister!  You are an inspiration to others.  Have a great day and remember to pay someone a compliment today. 

Note to Self

Remember one thing today – you are never too old and it's not too late unless you believe otherwise.  What you believe has everything to do with how you will live your life.  Toss out all the excuses.  Forget about what others think about how you should act.  Today is your day.  Make it count.  Have a great day.

Head Chatter

Good luck silencing those thoughts spinning around in your head.  My guess is that won't happen.  It has nothing to do with how strong you are or what level of success you've reached.  Head chatter has been going on since you were a baby and cutting it off is like cutting off an arm or a leg.  My head chatter seemed nosiest right after my auto accident and I found it impossible to silence.  What I did learn is how to turn down the volume.  Try this:

1. Add more chatter, the positive kind.  Pile it on.  For every negative thought spinning around in your head, add at least ten positive thoughts.  You may need a hundred or so positive thoughts if you have one negative thought is causing anxiety and holding you hostage.
2. Declare war on your negative thought.  The idea here is to prove your negative thought can't win because it's simply not based on reality.  When your thought says, "I can't do this,"  do it.  The negative thought must raise the white flag of surrender.  It's best to take on one negative thought at a time so you don't get ambushed.
3. Laugh.  Show your negative thoughts that you're not embarrassed to go out into the world in spite of all that head chatter telling you to stay home and lock yourself in your room.  Stand up comedians are masters at this.  They aren't afraid to tell the world about all those thoughts in their head and the audience can relate because we all have the same challenges.  The more you laugh, the weaker the thoughts.

Head chatter is normal.  Your response can be healthy if you know what to do.  Have a great day.

What Your Tardiness Says to Others

If you're one of those people who thinks it's okay to be arrive late because you believe it's "fashionable," you may want to reconsider your position.  I've been told I appear too rigid when it comes to time management but the truth is I care deeply about my obligations to others.  In my opinion, arriving late signals a lack of caring or empathy.  You're telling others they are not really important.

Think about the last time you were late for an appointment.  What's your excuse?  Is it the same one you use repeatedly?  There will always be traffic jams and traffic accidents.  The weather will cause delays.  If you're consistently late, try adding fifteen minutes of extra time to arrive on time.  Arriving early won't hurt you.  In fact, you may find yourself more relaxed.  Don't just tell others they are important to you – show it with your actions.  Be on time always.  Have a great day.

Stay Positive When the Chips are Down

I'm learning something new about timelines and deadlines.  They are merely guide posts to nudge you in a certain direction.  Sometimes, you may find yourself at one of these mile markers and there's still more work to do.  Don't beat yourself up over a missed deadline.  Move the goal post.  Keep moving forward.  Stay positive when the chips are down.  Slow progress is success as long as you're willing to do the work.  Have a great day.

Paperwork, the Final Frontier

If there's anything uglier than recovering from an auto accident, my bet is on the mountains of paperwork that follow.  I came out of the paperwork maize for some air late this morning to get today's blog message out.  The experience can make one's head spin.  An apple a day may keep the doctor away but a missing dotted i or crossed t on the insurance inquiries may lead to a plethora of notices from bill collectors if the paperwork isn't processed properly.  I'm crossing my fingers that this process ends soon.  It's time to go outside and enjoy the outdoors.  Have a great day.

How to Discover Your Happiest Moments

I admit it's a challenge to distinguish which things can be changed and which cannot.  There have been many times in my life when I held on too long to the things I'm powerless to change.  What a waste of time, energy and resources.  I wrongly believed holding on meant strength.  The truth is it only reveals stubbornness and pride.

Take a look around at the happiest people you know.  I have a feeling they all have something in common – courage.  They use their courage to let go of what they cannot change.  This allows them more time to focus on all the things in their lives where they can make a difference changing what can be changed.  When I'm not in my happy place I remind myself where my happiest moments come from and I remember to simply let go.  Give letting go a try today and see what happens.  My wish for you is you find happy moments.  Have a great day.

Happy Cinco de Mayo

Although many may be confused about why Cinco de Mayo is celebrated,  it's an extra special day for me this year.  Today I'm celebrating fully restored health.  Today is my three month anniversary since my auto accident on the Cinco de Febrero.  I'm back on the tennis courts at noon with my doubles partner, Fred, and we're playing our final match of the men's 18+ regular season.  Our team won all their matches while I was on the sidelines recovering from seven broken ribs and an injured spleen.  We already earned a playoff spot next month and plan to step up our practice sessions outdoors now that the snow is in the rear view mirror.

There are times in our lives when the opposing forces seem bigger, stronger and impossible to defeat.  Our neighbors south of the border faced a similar situation and stood strong against a powerful enemy on this day in 1862 against the french forces of Napoleon III.  My opponent, Mother Nature, nearly ended my time here when I slid across the yellow line on highway 149 and got t-boned by a fast moving van.  Overcoming the physical injuries was easier than dealing with the post traumatic stress associated with the accident.  I would like to thank the experts who helped me get comfortable behind the wheel again during our extended Winter.  Win or lose today, I'm going to celebrate life with my precious wife after today's match.  Happy Cinco de Mayo.  Have a great day.

Pay Attention to the Triggers

Some people are walking time bombs.  I know of places filled with land mines.  There are things, events and activities that may be booby-trapped.  Your calendar or your watch are possible suspects.  Triggers are all around you.  Even your own emotions can get the best of you if you're not paying attention.  I believe triggers, when you see them coming, can be useful to keep you in your happiness zone.

The next time you find yourself in a difficult place or situation, ask yourself, "Was there a sign I could have seen in advance that could have kept me out of danger?"  That's your trigger.  Triggers are my reminders to do certain things to prepare myself for something that may take me out of my comfort zone.  I'm reminded to concentrate on my breathing or relax my body.  This helps me during times of confrontation.  Make triggers part of your early warning detection system and learn to deal with unpleasant situations.  Have a great day.

On the Road Early Today

I'm breaking away from my normal writing routine with this post due to a request to come in early at my day job.  I'm pushing myself harder physically now that my body is almost fully recovered.  This week has been one physical challenge after another.  My body survived four hours of hauling dead trees out of our back yard on Monday and three hours on the indoor tennis courts during another major storm.  At least the temperatures are warm enough to prevent any more snow fall.  The tornado warning sirens were going off during our Wednesday night tennis.  I'm looking forward to getting back to a regular schedule soon.  Have a great day.

The Purpose of Life

Caution:  Newer and richer experiences are ahead.  There will be mudslides.  You may hit a pothole or two.  There will be times when you feel like you can't go on.  You can choose to put on the brakes or hit the accelerator.  I believe the newer and richer experiences are worth pursuing.  Eleanor Roosevelt said it best:  "The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for a newer and richer experience."

Go for it.  Discover your purpose of life today.  Take the first step.  Have a great day.

New Month, New Attitude

Here we go again.  Another clean slate.  I love the first day of the month.  Every day is a fresh opportunity to do something worthwhile.  You have a new month to finish some of those tasks you set out to do at the beginning of the new year or perhaps set some new goals.

My focus for this month is to work on avoiding self criticism.  It's really easy to fall into the trap of listening to your negative thoughts.  Like it or not, they will always be there, just like your own shadow.  I'm going to concentrate on the sunshine and all it has to offer.  How about you?  Are you ready for a new attitude in the new month?  Let's go.  Have a great day.