How to Make a Love Potion

Warning!  The love potion described below has not been tested by the FDA.  Known side effects are change in mood or behavior.  Small doses produce limited short-term results.  Long-term usage may result in weight loss due to increased desires for physical activity.  Maximum effectiveness is attained when the love potion is consumed daily for 28 consecutive days.  This is a home remedy and a prescription is not required.  Follow these guidelines:

1. Make a list of all the items that are important to your loved one.
2. Memorize the list and prioritize it.
3. Each item on the list is your love potion.  Consume everything on the list every day for 28 days.

This remedy is for your consumption only.  Do not miss any doses.  Be patient.  Expect questions such as, "Are you on drugs?"  Or, "Are you an alien?"  When your loved one looks at you and sees a prince or a princess instead of a toad, you know the love potion is working.