Find the Hot Buttons

Want better relationships?  Discover what matters to the people around you.  Finding the hot button is like turning on a light bulb in a dark room.  Once you find it, you gain a better understanding of what is important to your friends, family, boss, or fellow employees.  Here are some suggestions to help you find the hot buttons:

1. Ask the right questions and pay attention to the answers.
2. Study the body language.  When you find the hot button, you will see pupils dilate, posture change, or differences in speech patterns.  The facial expressions are similar to the ones you see when you tell someone they just won a prize.  The bigger the hot button, the more it will show in the body language.  You know you are on the right track when the other person moves closer to you.  
3. Show others that you care.  People will be willing to reveal their hot buttons when they trust you.  Be genuine.  Be engaged in the conversation.
4. Once you discover the hot button, ask follow up questions.  The best follow up question is, "why is that (the hot button item) important to you?"
5. Be a good detective.  Everyone has a hot button.  The best detectives probe for clues.  Be attentive. 

Would you like to share a time when you discovered a hot button inside someone close to you?  Please leave your comment below.